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As the saying goes, “It takes one to know one.” I think I came out of the womb manipulating.

Because I have a non-threatening personality and I’m more of an introvert, few people would describe me as controlling.

Add a couple psychology degrees on top of my natural ability to manipulate and my husband didn’t know what hit him.

While there’s nothing wrong with wanting a neat Tupperware cupboard or being known as someone who gets the job done, controlling tendencies can become a serious liability to your most important relationships.

Efforts to control can build a wall to intimacy with your friends, your children, and your husband.

Most controlling people won’t classify themselves as “control freaks.” They have a handful of other labels that feel more acceptable—they’re “organized,” “neat,” “I know my own mind,” “strong-willed,” or “opinionated.” The best way to disguise control is through the art of manipulation.

When we are manipulative, the people around us may not be aware that they are being controlled.

In fact, we might not even realize ourselves that our behaviors are controlling.

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Instead of demanding our way, we use emotions, veiled threats, and unfair arguments to get what we want, all the while insisting that the other person is free to make his own decision.

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